sofia’s fatal song

"When you talk, you get shallow. Where I walk, you don't follow. When I scream, you're my echo. Will you cry if I let go?” Driving back from Brown toward my Pennsylvania home, I could sense the weight of everything pressing down on me like a burden. Everything between the three of us seemed to be broken, destined for sorrow. Conrad Fisher was done with me; he hated me, and I struggled to understand the gravity of it all. For most of my life, I thought things were set in motion, my saving grace. But when I kissed Jeremiah, I believed in this— in us. A belief in him and his golden retriever heart. Yet, now, with rain pouring down relentlessly from the skies, confusion clouded my mind. I felt lost. didn’t know what I was doing. I gave Conrad the chance to reject me one more time, even after pleading with him over and over again. He made it clear he didn’t want me anymore, so I had to let him go. Still, his gaze held a mixture of hate, pity, and indifference. But this time, te...

“‘Cause now, I'm half of myself here without you. You're the best in my life and I lost you. And we had no control when it fell through.” When I woke up from my slumber, I found myself in a dizzying haze, my head still throbbing from last night’s bottle of tequila. The ache in my heart persisted after I gave Conrad the chance to break my heart a thousand times over again. Being unexpectedly shaken up by my mother of all people plunged me into a daydream-like state of confusion and loss.  For my entire life, my mother had become a steady force, a constant presence— sensitive, yet rigid and outspoken. Secretly, I always wished that Susannah could be my mother in another life, this comforting spirit with a warm heart. But when she died, Susannah left an irreplaceable void within me, leaving me with an empty space. As my mother’s hand struck my face in a harsh slap, I winced and fought back tears. She had never done that before. Its echo throughout the summer house was how I knew C...

"I just drank something strong to try to forget, but it wasn't right. No, you're not even here, but you're doin' my head in. I know that I should hate you." Tonight was our last night in Cousins Beach, the last night we would call the house ours, and with a flicker, that would all be over. In a moment, Susannah’s magic would be gone. Everything seems to be falling apart, as if the immense weight of the universe was collapsing beneath my feet. The house, now empty and devoid of a million promises of summer, stood as a hollow floorboard. The beach house, more like a second home, was no longer mine. Instead, it wreaked misery and loneliness. Susannah was dead, Conrad and I barely looked at each other, as if nothing happened, and I stood in the house all alone. The wound that Susannah left was overgrown– painful and raw, a hurt that would never heal. But I was a mess, nothing was going right, and I couldn’t help but want to fix it. All of us filled the summer hous...